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recognition by the other women

Article by Dr. Marciano published B4U, the social network on health and psychological well-being .

If a person is hugged by some of his like,
corrupts his mind and his humanity dried up
(Berne, 1970, 191)

Man has an innate need to be approved by the external environment.
Numerous studies have shown that sensory deprivation, in both children and adults, causes irreparable damage. One of the first scholars to address this issue, Rene Spitz, found that infants, if private long physical stimulation, can develop forms of psychopathology, in extreme cases, up until his death.
The lack of emotional and sensory stimuli sets in motion a biological chain that, through a stage of apathy, can reach degenerative states. These stimuli are necessary for the psychological existence of man as it is the need for food. He, through social exchanges, meets this need for recognition, namely that special kind of warmth and human contact in the form of actions or words.

The single unit of recognition is called "caress" ("Stroke") in analogy to physical contact on the infant, in which the unit takes more literally in the form of caress. The need for caresses lasts a lifetime.
A simple exchange of greetings as "Hello!" is a caress with which we are recognized or acknowledge the other.

through external recognition the individual has proof of his existence, he knows himself, his qualities and ways of being.
He needs to have boundaries to exist physically and mentally. These boundaries, which delimit its identity, formed in contact relationship with the outside world and with himself. Caress is proof of this relationship.

The search for recognition takes many forms and varies from individual to individual.
From childhood people learn to implement those behaviors effective for awards that then repeated over time, thus reinforcing the behavior that produced them. They do everything to them because they need a certain amount of recognition for their welfare. This research will continue throughout the rest of their lives. Even large, still craves physical contact and even if they learn to replace it with forms symbolic recognition, they feel deprived if they do not receive the caresses they need.

Touching have several advantages for the individual as relieve tension, away from harmful situations and maintain the psycho-physical balance that he has already achieved.

Over time, each person develops his own style of giving and receiving strokes based on what is your position in life. When there is a lack of recognition, the person shall make its own mode of administration that allows him to better manage their assets, measuring out the amount of awards that those who give and receive.

five have been identified restrictive rules about the give and take strokes, which are taught to many children and who continued to follow into adulthood:
1) do not ask if they have to give caresses;
2) not caresses ask when you need or want;
3) do not accept even if you want to caress;
4) does not reject strokes when you do not want, or even if you do not like;
5) does not caress yourself.
These rules form the basis of what is called "the economy of strokes."
Parents tend to teach some or all of these rules to the children in a way to have more control over them. They teach that the strokes are in limited quantities. Since the fundamental and essential to its growth, the child soon learns to get them to behave in ways requested by the parents.
Adults still in an unconscious way to follow these rules, paying the price of a life partially deprived, with limited exchange of affection and consuming energy searching for caresses were believed to be small. Thus their need for recognition is likely to remain perpetually dissatisfied.
E 'requires that the person you give permission to violate these implicit rules in order to learn how to exchange caresses more authentic and satisfying. Give

caresses is positive, as well as receive freely. Caresses requested are as important as the other, the fact may increase the chance to ask to receive them. You are not obliged to give kisses, we need to establish an honest management of strokes.

Type

caresses Caresses take different forms. They can be verbal, visual, physical or symbolic.
The source may be external, when you receive from other people, or internal, when they are self-produced, for example, with memories, ideas, and fantasies are the result of the procedures for the most part loner and interior.

also have their own qualities which can be either conditional or unconditional. The strokes are directed to do conditional on what the person does those kind of unconditional are being addressed, namely those of the individual features that occur naturally, its natural qualities.
A caress of life is the unconditional self-recognition of oneself, to be in the here and now, free and conscious of its past and forward to the future ("I-we-are"). The people affected often have a problem with its autosensing.

Caresses are classified as positive or negative.

The positive strokes convey the message "you're ok" stimulating growth and self-confidence, are welcome, pleasant and well-being generally produce the person. The message of negative strokes, however, is "you're not ok" message that leaves an uncomfortable feeling. Often we consider the caresses positive and negative as well as bad. In reality, the need for petting is based on the need for recognition. If you censor whole areas of another person's behavior that we consider negative, benefiting only the positive ones, we give an award that is only partial.

description lists the last second-hand caresses and caresses of the fairies.

Memories are second-hand strokes, in extreme situations, such as when you are in jail this type of strokes can be a salvation. The caresses of the fairies are the dreams with eyes open or fantasies, to be defined as such should never existed. Finally there are the strokes that are linked to technology, such as letters or messages recorded ( caresses canned ), phone calls and personal messages ( caresses long distance) and photographs ( caresses frozen ).

References

Attanasio, S. (1983). Contribution to the deepening of the concept caresses. Italian journal of Transactional Analysis. III, 5, December, 1983.
Berne, E. (1966). Principles of Group Treatment. New York: Grove Press (tr. it.: Principles of group therapy. Rome: Astrolabe, 1986).
Berne, E. (1968). A layman's guide to psychiatry and psychoanalysis. New York: Simon and Schuster (Tr. it. Guide to the layman to psychiatry and psychoanalysis. Rome: Astrolabe, 1969).
Berne, E. (1970). Sexin human loving. New York: City National Bank (Tr. it.: Make love. Mi-lano: Simon and Schuster, 1971).
Guglielmotti Leone, R., (1983). The self-recognition: unconditional caress of life. At, III, 5, 44.
Orten, J. (1972). Contributions to stroke vocabulary. Transactional Analysis Journal, 2, 3, 8-10 (Tr. It: Contributions the vocabulary of strokes. AT, III, 5, 34-37, 1983).
Steiner, CM (1971). The stroke economy. Transactional Analysis Journal, 1, 3.
Stewart, I & Joines, V. (1987). TA: A New Introduction to Transactional Analysis. Nottingham: Lifespace Publishing (Tr. it. Transactional analysis. Milano: Garzanti, 1990).
Woollams, S., (1978). The stroke internal economy. Transactional Analysis Journal, 8, 194-197 (Tr. it.: The economy of strokes, AT, III, 5, 28-33).
Woollams, S., Brown, M. (1978). Transactional Analysis. Dexter: Huron Valley Institute Press (tr. it.: Analysis transac ¬ tion. Assisi: The Citadel, 1985).

Color Fiend Comb In Color

cha love too much. Or too little

Article of Dr. Tramis published B4U, the portal on the health and psychological well-being .

The article discusses the issue of employees with taking a cue from a classic argument, "Women who love too much" by R. Norwood, speaking of love and troubled women that love suffer.

"Loving too much is treading, cancel themselves in order to devote himself completely to change a man 'wrong' for us, haunts us, of course without success. Love in a healthy way is to learn to accept and love themselves first and foremost, to be able to build a peaceful and rewarding relationship with a man "right" for us. " (R. Norwood, 1985)


More or less 25 years ago, the American psychologist Robin Norwood wrote a very interesting book on" women who love too much, hence the title. The text describes a profile of a woman, unfortunately, very common, absolutely lost behind the sentiment for a man who is the source of more suffering than joy. What the Norwood talks, outlining the contours of the woman who loves too much, is the number of situations that characterize the emotional dependency.

In his book depicts, in fact, all those conditions that identify the woman who loves too much. The total dedication to an abusive man, absent or rejecting, canceling itself, the disappearance of the pronoun I replaced him in the story, the experience of lack of interest to another are the symptoms of lovesickness described from Norwood. These women pursue love and endure unimaginable suffering unfit struggling every day to repair the feelings of loss and emptiness that you carry inside. To do so, somehow sacrifice themselves to the partner, in the paradoxical attempt to change it.

emotional slavery to produce these by a series of features, ranging from low self-esteem to low self-awareness. These women, stuck in relationships filled with suffering and frustrations, tear every day to keep alive relationships, rather than of love, are a source of pain, anguish, fear, loneliness. Love ceases to be a source of serenity, happiness, satisfaction, growth, reciprocity and exchange, to become a compulsion to suffer, begging for attention, suffering from addiction. In support, often, men unfit, emotionally unavailable, vacuum generators, dependency, suffering, abandonment, loneliness. So you love more and more we suffer and we suffer more and more you love, as if to repair to their supposed inadequacy, chronic emptiness that a love of this kind has, in a rush to attempt to obtain relief on old wounds here's desperate efforts to change these wrong men from whom we can not dismiss the thought.

But because the choice falls on these men? Norwood uses the image of the dance, the steps that the two dancers move coordinated to paint figuratively the couple relationships. Even women who love too much moving with their partners the additional steps of the same dance. Both remain in a relationship that is a non-relationship. In it are missing, ie, the elements of mutuality and intimacy that characterize the exchange.

If you can imagine what might be the reasons that prompt him to maintain or support the couple in some way, even with only minimal contributions (and sometimes not even that!), This kind of relationship, although in their ghostly forms, becomes greater than the effort if it comes to understanding what is behind the stubbornness of her.

the characteristics mentioned earlier that are common, most often, women who love too much. Among these low self-esteem, poor self-awareness, feelings of guilt, family histories such that the partner unfit reproduce the repetition of a pattern absent or rejecting father etc. I mean the tendency to look for in partners, the way we learned to love in our family history, the relationship between our parents and our parents (or anyone for them) with us. In short, we love as we have learned and how we were taught to do so.

the need to find partners in the formulas of love notes, family, alongside the need to reaffirm themselves in response to that proposed relational So here, for example, low self-esteem will respond well to an abusive partner or rejecting.

But there is another aspect that I wish to highlight and explain the benign provocation in the title. Women who love too, paradoxically, have the effect of moving away from love. Somehow, that is, although she loved so much, they get to take, in fact, distanced themselves from what makes it healthy and qualifies as a "love" a report, almost as if having identified with an image himself so unworthy of being loved prevented them to accept, tolerate, to do so. Somehow, in winding turns of a non-relationship, too accustomed to defend themselves from the suffering, emptiness, abandonment and loneliness, it is as if they were not able to bear the consequences of a healthy relationship, love, of reciprocity and exchange, intimate in a word, and thus avoided by continuing to move with their partner-partner, the same steps. In other words, women who love too much (as men who "love" too) in a sense they do not like. They try to change, dependent, but not love. Neither him nor the other. Do not make it, and the non-love, non-relationship, while it generates suffering, empty, on the other protects the implications of a healthy relationship, the difficulty of experience yourself as being worthy of love.

Talk about "women who love too much" is to speak of emotional dependency. Dependency, just as there are others. Similarly you can get out, understanding the origins and first learning to love and then love.


Bibliography:

R. Norwood (1985), Women who love too much, Giangiacomo Feltrinelli Editore - Milano.

Ps3 Headset And Headphones

THE SEXUAL ADDICTION: when sex becomes addictive!

Article by Dr. Eba Sara Di or Go published benessere4u.it . Discuss clicking here!

Almost 4 million Italians are addicted to sex, work and play.
sexual addiction can be defined as "a sick relationship with sex that is intended to enable the person to relieve stress, to escape from negative or painful feelings, from intimate relationships that is not able to manage." This report becomes the need fundamental with respect to which everything else is sacrificed, including people who are considered only as objects to be used

Almost 4 million Italians are addicted to sex, work and play . He said the ADUC (Association for the Rights of Consumers and Users), based on findings from SIIPa.C, the Italian Society intervention compulsive disorders. It is true dependencies the same way as the more traditional drug and alcohol abuse. Are called "new addictions" and are characterized by being " dependencies without substance."
Work and sex are the most popular among Italians. The so-called "sex addiction" seems to be dominated by men.
In a study carried out by the ISP (Institute for the study of psychotherapy) found that over 6% of Italian men between 20 and 45 years with symptoms of sex addiction a clear showing "haunted" by ' idea of making love as often as possible and using every means imaginable.
The survey was conducted on a sample of 1,300 men, heterosexual, between 20 and 45 years on the basis of a diagnostic test American assessing the scale of dependence in males from the sexual act. The
sex addiction manifests itself like any other compulsive behavior that characterizes addiction: a radical change in the natural activities that bring rewards.
employees by sex are no longer able to control the feelings and activities geared to the sex, regardless of their health and safety.
But to make a clear distinction between a good and healthy relationship with sex and pathological is still very problematic.

sexual addiction can be defined as "sick with a report sex that is intended to enable the person to relieve stress, to escape from negative or painful feelings, from intimate relationships that is not able to manage. " This report becomes the fundamental need in relation to which everything else is sacrificed, including persons who are considered only as objects to be used.

The sex addiction usually occurs in stages:

1. concern about prospects for continued fantasies or sexual situations
2. ritualization : a type of sexual activity or situation is often stereotyped and repetitive
3. compulsion: unbridled sexual activity regardless of the negative consequences and desire to stop
4. despair guilt, remorse, shame for failing to control their own behavior
5. other behavioral problems, often related to drug addiction or eating disorders

Putting together the contributions of various authors is possible to outline a number of features that allow you to have an extensive and comprehensive overview of sexual addiction, most notably the increase, the extension and duration of behaviors that exceed what the person wants.

• inordinate increase in time spent in seeking sexual experiences, consumption or esseincremento recover from sexual activity as the current level of activity is no longer sufficient
• severe consequences due to sexual behavior
• inability to stop despite consequences
• growing desire or effort to control sexual behavior
• against neglect of important social, occupational

Many authors agree that the sex addiction operates on three levels.
First level: includes behavior is considered normal, acceptable or tolerable.

• obsessive masturbation
• have multiple partners
• have excessive sexual fantasies phone sex
• use pornography masochistic or sadistic behavior
• transvestite fetishism

Many employees who are at this level they believe they can control their behavior and consider that it will have consequences in their lives. Although this may also be devastating if implemented in a Complus

Second level: extends to those behaviors that are clearly victimizing and for which there are legal sanctions:

• exhibitionism voyeurism
• calls indecent behavior
• indecent sexual behavior in public places
• eg sexual harassment. to the workplace
• prostitution necrophilia



Third level: the common element in the conduct of the third level is the violation some of the most significant social boundaries. Violence

  child molestation and incest
 sex with adults unconscious (eg drugs or persons under disability)
 ; sex with patients or employees
The presence of three levels does not mean that a person can not destroy their lives on the first level. It is also rare that a person implements compulsive sexual behavior of a single type.
Those addicted to sex sometimes have stories behind them of abuse at a young age, usually parents themselves are addicted to sex.
Stress plays a role as a major catalyst for compulsive sexual behavior, fueling feelings of abstinence and sexual fantasies.

The treatment of sex addiction generally involves the following steps:

1. awareness by the subject to have lost control in the sexual sexual abstinence commitment
3. reconstructions of human relations management
4. stress self-help

In any case, the main goals of therapy are designed to facilitate the development of a healthy capacity for intimacy with oneself and with others and to acquire adequate skills for managing problematic events that normally occur in a person's life.

Bibliography:
OATS F., 2009, Handbook on sexual addiction. Definition, diagnosis, intervention, Franco Angeli, Milano.
CARNES P., 1991, Do not call it love. Recovery from sexual addiction, Bantam, New York
LAMBIASE E., 2001, The Sexual Dependency. Clinical models and possible therapeutic intervention, Las, Roma
www.aduc.it
www.isp.it
www.siipac.it