Article by Dr. Marciano published B4U, the social network on health and psychological well-being .
If a person is hugged by some of his like,
corrupts his mind and his humanity dried up
(Berne, 1970, 191)Man has an innate need to be approved by the external environment.
Numerous studies have shown that sensory deprivation, in both children and adults, causes irreparable damage. One of the first scholars to address this issue, Rene Spitz, found that infants, if private long physical stimulation, can develop forms of psychopathology, in extreme cases, up until his death.
The lack of emotional and sensory stimuli sets in motion a biological chain that, through a stage of apathy, can reach degenerative states. These stimuli are necessary for the psychological existence of man as it is the need for food. He, through social exchanges, meets this need for recognition, namely that special kind of warmth and human contact in the form of actions or words.The single unit of recognition is called "caress" ("Stroke") in analogy to physical contact on the infant, in which the unit takes more literally in the form of caress. The need for caresses lasts a lifetime.
A simple exchange of greetings as "Hello!" is a caress with which we are recognized or acknowledge the other.through external recognition the individual has proof of his existence, he knows himself, his qualities and ways of being.
He needs to have boundaries to exist physically and mentally. These boundaries, which delimit its identity, formed in contact relationship with the outside world and with himself. Caress is proof of this relationship.The search for recognition takes many forms and varies from individual to individual.
From childhood people learn to implement those behaviors effective for awards that then repeated over time, thus reinforcing the behavior that produced them. They do everything to them because they need a certain amount of recognition for their welfare. This research will continue throughout the rest of their lives. Even large, still craves physical contact and even if they learn to replace it with forms symbolic recognition, they feel deprived if they do not receive the caresses they need.Touching have several advantages for the individual as relieve tension, away from harmful situations and maintain the psycho-physical balance that he has already achieved.
Over time, each person develops his own style of giving and receiving strokes based on what is your position in life. When there is a lack of recognition, the person shall make its own mode of administration that allows him to better manage their assets, measuring out the amount of awards that those who give and receive.
five have been identified restrictive rules about the give and take strokes, which are taught to many children and who continued to follow into adulthood:
1) do not ask if they have to give caresses;
2) not caresses ask when you need or want;
3) do not accept even if you want to caress;
4) does not reject strokes when you do not want, or even if you do not like;
5) does not caress yourself.
These rules form the basis of what is called "the economy of strokes."
Parents tend to teach some or all of these rules to the children in a way to have more control over them. They teach that the strokes are in limited quantities. Since the fundamental and essential to its growth, the child soon learns to get them to behave in ways requested by the parents.
Adults still in an unconscious way to follow these rules, paying the price of a life partially deprived, with limited exchange of affection and consuming energy searching for caresses were believed to be small. Thus their need for recognition is likely to remain perpetually dissatisfied.
E 'requires that the person you give permission to violate these implicit rules in order to learn how to exchange caresses more authentic and satisfying. Givecaresses is positive, as well as receive freely. Caresses requested are as important as the other, the fact may increase the chance to ask to receive them. You are not obliged to give kisses, we need to establish an honest management of strokes.
Type
caresses Caresses take different forms. They can be verbal, visual, physical or symbolic.
The source may be external, when you receive from other people, or internal, when they are self-produced, for example, with memories, ideas, and fantasies are the result of the procedures for the most part loner and interior.also have their own qualities which can be either conditional or unconditional. The strokes are directed to do conditional on what the person does those kind of unconditional are being addressed, namely those of the individual features that occur naturally, its natural qualities.
A caress of life is the unconditional self-recognition of oneself, to be in the here and now, free and conscious of its past and forward to the future ("I-we-are"). The people affected often have a problem with its autosensing.Caresses are classified as positive or negative.
The positive strokes convey the message "you're ok" stimulating growth and self-confidence, are welcome, pleasant and well-being generally produce the person. The message of negative strokes, however, is "you're not ok" message that leaves an uncomfortable feeling. Often we consider the caresses positive and negative as well as bad. In reality, the need for petting is based on the need for recognition. If you censor whole areas of another person's behavior that we consider negative, benefiting only the positive ones, we give an award that is only partial.
description lists the last second-hand caresses and caresses of the fairies.
Memories are second-hand strokes, in extreme situations, such as when you are in jail this type of strokes can be a salvation. The caresses of the fairies are the dreams with eyes open or fantasies, to be defined as such should never existed. Finally there are the strokes that are linked to technology, such as letters or messages recorded ( caresses canned ), phone calls and personal messages ( caresses long distance) and photographs ( caresses frozen ).
References
Attanasio, S. (1983). Contribution to the deepening of the concept caresses. Italian journal of Transactional Analysis. III, 5, December, 1983.
Berne, E. (1966). Principles of Group Treatment. New York: Grove Press (tr. it.: Principles of group therapy. Rome: Astrolabe, 1986).
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Berne, E. (1970). Sexin human loving. New York: City National Bank (Tr. it.: Make love. Mi-lano: Simon and Schuster, 1971).
Guglielmotti Leone, R., (1983). The self-recognition: unconditional caress of life. At, III, 5, 44.
Orten, J. (1972). Contributions to stroke vocabulary. Transactional Analysis Journal, 2, 3, 8-10 (Tr. It: Contributions the vocabulary of strokes. AT, III, 5, 34-37, 1983).
Steiner, CM (1971). The stroke economy. Transactional Analysis Journal, 1, 3.
Stewart, I & Joines, V. (1987). TA: A New Introduction to Transactional Analysis. Nottingham: Lifespace Publishing (Tr. it. Transactional analysis. Milano: Garzanti, 1990).
Woollams, S., (1978). The stroke internal economy. Transactional Analysis Journal, 8, 194-197 (Tr. it.: The economy of strokes, AT, III, 5, 28-33).
Woollams, S., Brown, M. (1978). Transactional Analysis. Dexter: Huron Valley Institute Press (tr. it.: Analysis transac ¬ tion. Assisi: The Citadel, 1985).
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