Color Fiend Comb In Color
cha love too much. Or too little The article discusses the issue of employees with taking a cue from a classic argument, "Women who love too much" by R. Norwood, speaking of love and troubled women that love suffer.
"Loving too much is treading, cancel themselves in order to devote himself completely to change a man 'wrong' for us, haunts us, of course without success. Love in a healthy way is to learn to accept and love themselves first and foremost, to be able to build a peaceful and rewarding relationship with a man "right" for us. " (R. Norwood, 1985)
More or less 25 years ago, the American psychologist Robin Norwood wrote a very interesting book on" women who love too much, hence the title. The text describes a profile of a woman, unfortunately, very common, absolutely lost behind the sentiment for a man who is the source of more suffering than joy. What the Norwood talks, outlining the contours of the woman who loves too much, is the number of situations that characterize the emotional dependency.
In his book depicts, in fact, all those conditions that identify the woman who loves too much. The total dedication to an abusive man, absent or rejecting, canceling itself, the disappearance of the pronoun I replaced him in the story, the experience of lack of interest to another are the symptoms of lovesickness described from Norwood. These women pursue love and endure unimaginable suffering unfit struggling every day to repair the feelings of loss and emptiness that you carry inside. To do so, somehow sacrifice themselves to the partner, in the paradoxical attempt to change it.
emotional slavery to produce these by a series of features, ranging from low self-esteem to low self-awareness. These women, stuck in relationships filled with suffering and frustrations, tear every day to keep alive relationships, rather than of love, are a source of pain, anguish, fear, loneliness. Love ceases to be a source of serenity, happiness, satisfaction, growth, reciprocity and exchange, to become a compulsion to suffer, begging for attention, suffering from addiction. In support, often, men unfit, emotionally unavailable, vacuum generators, dependency, suffering, abandonment, loneliness. So you love more and more we suffer and we suffer more and more you love, as if to repair to their supposed inadequacy, chronic emptiness that a love of this kind has, in a rush to attempt to obtain relief on old wounds here's desperate efforts to change these wrong men from whom we can not dismiss the thought.
But because the choice falls on these men? Norwood uses the image of the dance, the steps that the two dancers move coordinated to paint figuratively the couple relationships. Even women who love too much moving with their partners the additional steps of the same dance. Both remain in a relationship that is a non-relationship. In it are missing, ie, the elements of mutuality and intimacy that characterize the exchange.
If you can imagine what might be the reasons that prompt him to maintain or support the couple in some way, even with only minimal contributions (and sometimes not even that!), This kind of relationship, although in their ghostly forms, becomes greater than the effort if it comes to understanding what is behind the stubbornness of her.
the characteristics mentioned earlier that are common, most often, women who love too much. Among these low self-esteem, poor self-awareness, feelings of guilt, family histories such that the partner unfit reproduce the repetition of a pattern absent or rejecting father etc. I mean the tendency to look for in partners, the way we learned to love in our family history, the relationship between our parents and our parents (or anyone for them) with us. In short, we love as we have learned and how we were taught to do so.
the need to find partners in the formulas of love notes, family, alongside the need to reaffirm themselves in response to that proposed relational So here, for example, low self-esteem will respond well to an abusive partner or rejecting.
But there is another aspect that I wish to highlight and explain the benign provocation in the title. Women who love too, paradoxically, have the effect of moving away from love. Somehow, that is, although she loved so much, they get to take, in fact, distanced themselves from what makes it healthy and qualifies as a "love" a report, almost as if having identified with an image himself so unworthy of being loved prevented them to accept, tolerate, to do so. Somehow, in winding turns of a non-relationship, too accustomed to defend themselves from the suffering, emptiness, abandonment and loneliness, it is as if they were not able to bear the consequences of a healthy relationship, love, of reciprocity and exchange, intimate in a word, and thus avoided by continuing to move with their partner-partner, the same steps. In other words, women who love too much (as men who "love" too) in a sense they do not like. They try to change, dependent, but not love. Neither him nor the other. Do not make it, and the non-love, non-relationship, while it generates suffering, empty, on the other protects the implications of a healthy relationship, the difficulty of experience yourself as being worthy of love.
Talk about "women who love too much" is to speak of emotional dependency. Dependency, just as there are others. Similarly you can get out, understanding the origins and first learning to love and then love.
Bibliography:
R. Norwood (1985), Women who love too much, Giangiacomo Feltrinelli Editore - Milano.
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